Thank God For Nap Time!

It's been a while....

2011-07-26T01:10:00.000-07:00

We added a new addition.

and she is already 1!
Molly Jane was born June 24th 2010 in Silverdale . Her birth was so drastically different from her brothers. Where his was filled with anxiety hers was chill, calm and confident. I still ended up using pain medications but this time I didn't feel like a failure. I loved that I was pain free as I prepared to meet her, and after two pushes I did.

Recovery after 2 pushes is so much easier than after 2 hours of pushing.

just sayin'

Life with two is good, we are preparing to move to Bainbridge Island soon... we hope. Our house is sold and I don't want to jinx anything by posting a picture of the house we have made and offer on. We should close asap but I am superstitious tonight.

Owen is still into trucks although at 3 they shifted from garbage trucks to fire trucks.

He is reading and loves to read about knights, barbarians, and police. But above all he loves Batman, specifically his Batman tee shirt. He's been wearing it since March, and every day since June. Every. Single. Day.

What's new OWIE?

2009-04-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

Yes my son refers to himself as OWIE . He's changing so quickly theses days, it's hard to keep up. HIs obsessions with forklifts and garbage trucks is still going strong and now he counts them , or their tires when we see them. Sometimes like the count from Sesame Street . "2 Garbage Trucks - ah ah ah ah !"

His other major obsession is music. It has Jason and I a little dumbfounded and trying to find ways to encourage it without pushing but provide what he needs to foster this love. Parenting is hard. He loves Youtube! We watch a lot of Miles Davis , John Coltrane and Singing in the Rain. He turns everything into an instrument, sippy cups become trumpets, forks guitars and today he used his crock as a violin. We'll see how this love grows- and if I can keep up until he is 3 or 4!

Oh how he's grown !

2009-04-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

Cities, Curriculum and Forklifts! Oh My !

2009-01-30T22:44:00.000-08:00

Owen is obsessed , with "Cities" we are always talking about cities, making cities or going to visit daddy at lunch in the city ! The other most recent obsession besides saying " No! Mama" like a 14 year old girl, complete with eye roll, are forklifts. Not only does he like going to Home Depot with Jason to see them in action, he will also point out things on pallets and tell you that a forklift put it there! I never imagined knowing so much about vehicles as I do already.

The other recent development is that I am doing some curriculum writing , yes for money! I promised Jason that I would find a way to make NTFFC more than just a hobby, and wasn't happy with the ad options. Just as I was feeling blue- I was contacted and asked if i would be interested in writing preschool curriculum for a rapidly growing company. Yes and YES! It's going well and I am excited to be doing something creative in early childhood education while staying at home with my forklift obsessed little man.

I almost forgot Owen has added a few new musical instruments to his list of favorites, that he "plays"- the cello was added after seeing Yo Yo Mah play during the inauguration. Wasn;t that music just breathtaking, even my little man stopped and climbed up into my lap and listened intently. What an amazing day. Here he is high fiving Obama right before the oath.

Oh but back to the instruments, today flute and harp entered his little symphony. Oh and a part of a breast pump got turned into a trumpet- a lactivits and a musician, a true renaissance toddler ! Below is his other favorite thing - the park. He loves this rope bridge and insists it's a troll bridge!

I have a confession

2009-01-13T21:45:00.000-08:00

I still haven't put away my Christmas decorations.

They aren't up, they are just taking the slow scenic route from my family room to the garage, presently taking a post Christmas stop on the dining room table. It may be Easter before they make it to their final destination.

Now that I got that off my chest - here are some cute recent pictures of my little man.

Being cute and patient waiting for me to hand him some snacks.
Notice the lack of decorations on the lower part of the tree...hmmm I wonder why....
Yes we really wear the crowns, it's a canadian thing, well probably british but we stole it.
At the airport, Owen always looks so tiny next to Jason! That outfit didn't last much longer, and he peed out of the back up too. We landed in Dallas with Owen in PJs - thank goodness I packed them in my carry on.
Busy reading the funnies!

Robyn kicked my butt!

2009-01-07T23:07:00.000-08:00

So my quest to wean has failed miserably. Robyn however kicked some major boob and weaned her little man in mere days. With traveling to Texas and sharing a bed with Owen for 9 days he actually added more nursing , we've been home for 3 days and dropped that early morning session again but he's not happy and either is poor Jason who has to go to him!

We'll get there, sessions are shortening and he is asking for it less, I don't think I'll be sending it with him to college after all :)Now his little fridge can be used for the things all college kids eat like Kraft Dinner and beer. Phew!

Boobless Update!

2008-12-15T12:15:00.001-08:00

Well things are generally going well, After nap for 3 days he has played , had egg nog ( milk with some egg nog) or water after nap!!! However before nap has been way way harder, no clue why!

Owen has had a rough few days,holiday stuff, a funky rash and feeling a little under the weather, so no Huge progress but still trying hard.

Boobless in 2009

2008-12-05T16:59:00.000-08:00

My friend Robyn and I are determined to wean our boys. We loved nursing, we loved that the boys love it , but it's time. We have both successfully night weaned and neither of us are game for simply going cold turkey- if we were both boys would have been weaned by now. So instead we are going to blog about it! Try to find ways to get our boobs out of their mouths , while not being too harsh with them, they are our babies after all.

Our goal is to be boobless by 2009 ! I have my doubts but I am always up for a challenge. Also incase you don't know us, both of us have been breastfeeding our boys for 2 years, so please don't think we don't support breastfeeding, we do , I encourage every woman to breastfeed it's amazing but every breastfeeding relationship comes to an end at some point, we have hit that point months ago and toughed it out, now it's time !

So my goal today is : After nap have a cup and snack ready and offer it first, if he asks for "BooBoo" I won't refuse but I am cutting it to no longer than 8 minutes ( it's been 9-10 recently).

I'll let you know how it is going!

2 by the numbers.

2008-11-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

729 - number of days you have been on the planet.
27 - number of pounds you weigh.
17 - number of times I have slept for 8 hours since your birth
14 - number of times a day you would nurse as a newborn
6 - number of times you do now
2- number of States you have lived in
15- number of flights you have been on
2- number of dates your dad and I have been on since you arrived
34- number of toy vehicles you own
1- number of times you have been to the doctor , other than well baby checks.
5- number of stuffed animals you sleep with in your bed
0 - number of blankets you sleep with
548- number of times despite being told not to you put art supplies in your mouth
1- number of times your picture was on PostSecret
9- number of months you slept in the same room with your dad and I
3- number of times - well you don't want to know that, but know it wasn't enough!
1- number of times you put yourself in time out
19 - number of times you have watched "Enchanted"
0- number of times you have watched any other movie for more than 5 minutes
3- number of failed attempts to get you to try mashed potatoes
0 -number of times you have turned down Avocado
1- number of ER visits you have made.
4- number of nurses you charmed.
7- number of times you have called a Cat a Cat
2947595 - number of times you have called a cat a "Abba" even though you know it's a cat
729 - number of times I have fallen asleep with you as my last thought
729- number of days I have felt like my life is finally what it was always meant to be.
729- number of days I have kissed your hair and told you to always be gentle, and kind.
729- number of nights I have spent holding, nursing or laying with you before bed thinking this won't last forever, I can't waste it now.

Happy Birthday Bug,

Mama

Damn Teen Tournament

2008-11-11T19:53:00.000-08:00

I was listening to Jepoardy... without watching. I got every question right, I was so excited, until final jeopardy when I notice all the contestants are half my age. Damn it! Alex showed off his french skillz again too, he always makes me laugh when he speaks french.

King of the potty!

2008-11-05T17:03:00.000-08:00

I made this for Owen 6 days ago and he finished it today !

We went to the store and got a very cool hotwheels firetruck as a prize for all his hard work.

Potty Potty Potty

2008-11-03T16:53:00.000-08:00

Did you ever think you would talk so much about poop before having kids? Prior to Owen making his appearance I worked with kids in diapers so poop was a common topic of discussion. However I was at school, daycare or in those children's homes- now with Owen I find myself saying " Are you Pooping?" and " Do you need to go poop on the potty?" in totally inappropriate places , like while talking to the nice older lady at church, at lunch ...at a restaurant, etc... it's so bad.

I would promise to stop this but now Owen has started potty training. So sorry poop will still be a frequent word used by me, likley at all the wrong times too. I wasn't planning on starting now but he likes to show off and while Grandma and Grandad were here he sort of started and we're going with it.

I made him a potty chart and he is loving the stickers every time he goes.

I am particularly enjoying the lack of alligator rolls on the change table, and yucky diapers to change.

Here are a few recent shots from the grandparents visit .. no potty ones, I am not that mean a mom!

Owen and his buddy, my dad!
With "Bama" my mom

Epiphany , New Words and Cheesus

2008-10-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

Epiphany:

I am not a bad mom.

I am a good mom, usually a really good one.

My kid is not a sleeper.

He looks cute in sleepers but doesn't actually sleep in them all that much. See below for some fun things he does do in sleepers.

I need to accept this and know that the hours he sleeps or does not sleep does not equal points in my mommy report card.

Owen breaks out of his sleepers:

Owen puts my shoes on and "Wok wok wok" in them:

He wears daddy's socks and screams "touchdown" in his sleepers too :

New Words:

Here are some of Owen's new words :

Pocket
Empty
ABC
Pretty
Witch
Mall-nart ( Wal-mart)
Senta Marco ( Central Market)
Candy
Treat
Texas
Heaven
Cheesus ( Jesus)
All Better
Ahhh No !
Ahhh Yes !
Big Boy
Home

Cheesus

Owen is rather fond of Jesus, specifically a small figurine that Jason got in Rio years ag0 ( while partying at Carnival- Jesus was so not at that party) . He asked to watch tv with "Cheesus" and has recently started asking to show Jesus how he uses the big boy potty.

My child is so weird, but I love it.

Some kids pee on the potty for jelly beans or M&Ms my kid does it for Jesus.

He went 2x today!

I am happy with one.

2008-10-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

I am having issues. I don't want another child. 3 weeks ago I was trolling babystyles website looking at all the fun stuff for babies trying to plan when we are having another and since Owen's molars have thrown our house into survival mode I have come to my senses. Now before anyone gets their panties or britches in a knot relax, we will have another baby. I will want another at some point, that point is just a figurative time at the moment.

I feel like I should want one NOW though, I just love my time with Owen, I love our little games and snuggles, I am selfish and don't want to share that. More so I want to have that with #2 as well. I guess being a #2 I want #2 to feel loved and wanted as uniquely as Owen was.

So when?

Oh and I hate , hate , HATE ( got that?) being pregnant. I get fat, I get cramps in my legs, I pee when I laugh, cry or sneeze, and I get fat, really really fat.

ewww.

Recent Pictures

2008-10-01T15:09:00.000-07:00

Owen's idea of packing . He is surprisingly agile with a backpack on his head. Oh and don't worry after the picture we talked at length about bags and putting our heads in them, and why it's not the smartest thing to put in a bag.

When my mom and aunt came to visit we indulged in some tirimisu, Owen loved it.

All ready to go to his first wedding! Owen was one of the only guests who didn't mind the torrential rain, of course when he slipped and split his lip and his nose started bleeding he wasn't too happy. It didn't take long though to soak up the blood and get back to playing. The biggest hit though was the band of course, the bass player let him play the big stand up bass. 2 weeks later Owen is still telling me all about it!

Goofing around at home with his "Daddy" haircut.

Yesterday at the park .

I'm in the elite

2008-09-02T22:23:00.000-07:00

10% of women in the United States choose not to change their names after marriage. 90% don't. This shocked me, I never knew it was THAT uncommon. Growing up I always imagined keeping my name, it just never made sense to me. Then while getting ready for my wedding, I told my husband to be I would hyphenate.

McDonald-McCalpin.

That is a lot of Scottish for anyone to say out loud.

I got a new email address.Then got cold feet.

This is a sore sore point with my husband and I suspect a few of his family members too- although their so sweet and 100% loving I doubt they would ever admit that. I lucked out with his family, while he inherited my crazy clan. That said I just couldn't do it, I know that I would end up as Allie McCalpin and that was not who I was nor who I wanted to be and I would resent him for it.

So I never added his name to mine. I share my life with him, but I share my name with 3 others.

I love my husband, I love being married to him and the mother of our little teething monster. I love that they share a last name, and I don't.

People have been asking me lately for whatever reason , and when I answered them " I just didn't want to change it." they didn't seem satisfied, but there isn't more to it.

They grow too fast!

2008-08-29T21:29:00.000-07:00

These are my handsome nephews!

Cameron is off to 1st grade! It was just yesterday that my husband was scared to hold him as a 3 week old infant. Now look at him! Garret for some reason is frozen in my head as an 18 month old, and when I see him I am always in awe at how old and cute he is! Seriously you have to admit my Sister in law makes gorgeous boys! I am glad they are in Texas cause if I had been there in person I would have been blubbering like a fool. Lord help me when Owen heads off to school.

Getting Teeth Bites.

2008-08-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days. That screaming kid at Target, that was Owen. Sorry if you had to hear him, he hasn't screamed that loudly, well, ever. We had a grand total of 5.5 hours of sleep from 9pm-7am. How is that you say? That is 10 hours. Oh yes it may be 10, but Owen got up at 11, 12, 12:30, 1 and then he was UP. We tried to go back to bed in his room , the guest room and then when we got to our room, all he did was wake daddy up. So down stairs we went to watch a little Sprout on demand.

Thank god for Barney. He gave my very very overused boobs a break and I did a little online shopping too.

We headed back upstairs and after letting him fuss in his crib for a few minutes he calmed down and snuggled right to sleep next to me.

I was so tired it didn't even dawn on me that perhaps the molar I have been suspecting might be pushing through and some pain killers may help. Like I have said for ages my brain - it went with the placenta after giving birth!

So after trying to get him to take some car cat naps ( he took one- I was hoping for more) and having about 20 meltdowns , lots of snuggles and a few time outs. I reached in to his mouth and sure enough his gums were starting to shred.

Poor bug.

So I cancelled my parents and sister coming down to visit and we are going to have a low key weekend , with lots of cold foods, and stay in our pjs as much as we want, cause I have a feeling we will be up at 2am for a few more days.

You know you need a new hairstyle....

2008-08-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

When your child wakes up and the first thing they demand isn't the usual " BooBoo" but instead they say " Up! Up!" and they aren't asking to be picked up out of the crib . No they point to your hair which was for a brief moment not up in a messy bun, and demand it be put back. Seeing you with your hair down throws off the balance in their little oh so secure universe.

I love my messy buns- I know they are messy and with my dark hair a little witch like but I have no patience when it comes to hair. Also like my son demonstrated it just suits me.

I need to go on what not to wear- and have that British guy convince me to do something sophisticated with my mane.

I'd upload a pic of my hair down but I don't think I have one.

figures.

Stuck at home

2008-08-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

My back is in some serious pain, I can move but in my effort to not end up in a wheelchair or traction I have declared Owen and I homebound. The struggle to get my squirming 26 pounder into his car seat will not help rest my back so... here we are! This is possibly more painful than my back.

Of course Owen was up bright and early - 6am so not only are we stuck at home , we also have an extra hour and a half to spend here. Owen and I both need to get out for mental health reasons but somehow we've survived so far. It's naptime now, thank god !

Here is what we have done instead of going to Costco and Old Navy as planned:

We read some books:

Did some art:

I made a phases of the moom wheel and Owen wrecked it:

We baked some cookies:

Owen messed up the DVD player- possibly for good , sorry no pic of that.

But the highlight was when I was trying to get a look at his molars coming in and he wiggled , I shifted and then there was blood. I gave my son a bloody nose- my pinky I was trying to feel his tooth with ended up , way up, his nose. The bleeding stopped pretty fast but it was coming fast at first. Owen wasn't bothered on bit other than making the same face he makes when Jason tried to get him to eat olives.

Thank fully he fell asleep without any fuss.

I need to give these cookies away or my new jeans I worked so hard to fit into won't fit tomorrow!

What we've been up to...

2008-08-16T14:29:00.000-07:00

1. Got a new crib, the walls didn't match it so I painted the room and dresser instead.

2. Re organized my art closet- this was a bigger deal to me then painting a room in 2 days. The picture doesn't do it justice the halloween and christmas decorations in the back look messy but they are actually very organized. The before picture was so bad I deleted it- let's just say it was hip high and the shelves on the right had fallen over!

3. Courtney and Nick came to visit and I went to my first movie in 2 years! Sadly a certain toddler was up waiting for me at 12:08 AM when I got home. Also when they came in the door and Owen exclaimed " Dindy!!" while pointing at Courtney we figured out the mystery word Dindy was actually Owen speak for Courtney ! Now if we can just figure out " Anda" ??
Owen is rather obsessed with " Nick Nick" even a week after they left he keeps asking if " Nick Nick " is on the phone when someone calls.

4. The patio is nearing completion!

5. Owen went to the fire station !

6. Owen and I went to the Seattle Aquarium to get out of daddy's hair so he could work on the patio. You can't tell but it was 92 degrees in the city yesterday- what was I thinking??We also did a little shopping at Nordstrom and had lunch at Westlake center, Owen used his fork the whole time!

7. I have started planning Owen's 2nd Birthday and Christmas already- I know it seems insane but that's how I am.

Why am I awake?

2008-07-30T01:06:00.001-07:00

I can't decide.

I want to teach.

I want another child , and to stay home with them as I have been with Owen.

I want my OWN school , or at least the freedom to create my own curriculum.

I want my Master's .

I want to contribute financially to my family.

I want to use what god gave me , which is more than just my ability to acquire free drinks. Although that hasn't been tested in a long while so that may have disappeared a long with the luxury of going to the bathroom without a toddler watching.

I want a to do list that includes more than laundry, dinner, diapers and shopping.

I clearly want too much.

So yes I am up trying to decide what to do. Should I be looking for a job teaching , should I be studying for the GRE, or should I be stockpiling supplies for when I get the capital to open my own school?

I love my job as a blogging mom, I have tons of hits, great feedback from other moms- but I can't help but feel useless when it's not bringing in any cash.

I'll figure it out.

I want my own school.

That is my biggest hugest - if I had a million dollars - want.

A new favorite pic

2008-07-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

I feel bad for the previous post being so boring and such a downer so here is a cute picture of my little man.

I'm not fat anymore.

2008-07-28T18:07:00.001-07:00

Don't ask for pictures, I tried to take some and they all either had no head or were angled funny. I will ask Jase to take my picture later . So yeah I've been working out, and eating well, snacking less and no eating after dinner. I have had cheat days ; cough *cookie dough blizzard* cough , bust over all I am eating very well without dieting. I have officially grown or rather shrunk out of 90% of my clothes. Good right? Well not al good, I had a lot of clothes and can't justify a bunch of new stuff.

urgh.

wow that is a bummer post.

sorry.

The kindness of strangers

2008-07-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

I am always so surpised when people are extra nice, like yesterday we dropped off 2 pairs of Jason's pants at the dry cleaners and the owner gave both Owen and I Nectarines! How sweet- Owen couldn't stop smelling his, of course being the neurotic parent I am I ate them both - they weren't organic- nectarines are notorious for yucky chemicals. I did take Owen to the store to pick out his own organic pear ( that cost almost $2 ! ) - stop laughing !!

Okay so that was one sweet thing- at the check out at the market the lady kept complimenting Owen's handsomeness <------ is that a word? So like usual I said " He looks just like his daddy! " and she was so sweet she said " No no those beautiful eyes are yours- exactly yours!"

Aww made me all warm inside! The $2 pear was worth it !

You decide are they mine?

Me at 20 months....

Owen yesterday at 20 months

Then today at Costco I was holding Owen in one arm and struggling to get two carts separated, and all these old people were grabbing arts left and right bumping into us and this dad from like 20 feet away said -"Let me help you ! " and came to my rescue! I know none of these things are grand gestures but it's little things like this that make it to dinner conversation and reminds me to make little gestures like these every day too!

Now all I need is a mini van!

2008-07-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

I have gone through another mom rite of passage- the garage sale. Our community association puts on a neighborhood wide garage sale every summer. We missed it last year because we were in San Francisco ( oh how I miss you !!! ) but this year we were ready!

The thing is is that since 2000 I have lived in Calgary, Vancouver, Thunder Bay, St. Louis, Seattle , San Francisco and Poulsbo. As you can imagine that gave me ample time to purge my closets of well, anything !

I had a whole huge bag full of clothes waiting to go to GoodWill but all my working out has resulted in being able to see abs again ( I thought I had lost them forever back in 2005) so some of the tee shirts and pants that I thought were too small are actually getting to be too big ! Yay!

This picture of Owen has nothing to do with this post, but I love how sacked out he is!!

Ironically I should be working out as we speak, I am procrastinating because the garage sale yesterday took so much out of me, not to mention potentially gave me skin cancer. It was sunny and hot all day and I thought I managed to sun screen myself well- I did on the front . My shoulders and back are a nice shade of red.

We did get rid of some baby stuff that isn't worth storing until we decide to venture into the insane abyss of a newborn again, and some old clothes I have no use for, in total we made $50 ! Not bad for a day hanging out with neighbors and getting some skin cancer.

Small bitch, indulge me.

2008-06-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

Owen is lovingly nursing Mousie who was MY lovey and much older than 1 !

I do not understand when women who NURSED their baby make comments about nursing a toddler. These same women are those who felt proud to breastfeed a 5 month old but stop the presses my 19 month old is nursing ??! WHY??

Do they really think that magically all the benefits and natural goodness of breast milk is erased when a child hits some arbitrary number like 6 or 12 months? Come on that is ridiculous. When are moms going to start supporting each other more no matter which loving way they choose to feed their children?

vent over.

In Honour of Our 4th Anniversary ....

2008-06-16T15:56:00.001-07:00

Some Random Pictures of Our Life

North Vancouver , BC, Canada - June 2004

St. Louis MO (the lobby of our first apartment together)- May 2003

Tallin , Estonia - August 2004

Vancouver , BC, Canada - Morning after the wedding June 2004

Poulsbo , Washington June 2008

Windsor Castle, England August 2004

Poulsbo, Washington - October 2007

San Francisco , California July 2001- the night after we met.

Oregon Coast - March 2007

Sighisoira , Romania - July 2004

Poulsbo, Washington - May 2008

San Francisco , California June 2007

South Africa - June 2004

Bainbridge Island, Washington -February 2008

Cape Town June 2004 - on our honeymoon

Gdansk Poland - drinking as my bag is stolen from our "locked" room. August 2004

Penguins - South Africa June 2004
San Francisco, California May 2007

San Antonio, Texas March 2008

The last picture of me pregnant , I went into labor 8 hours later. November 2006

St. Louis, MO New Years Eve with my Best Friend Courtney!

Heathrow Airport - Waiting to go to Cape Town. June 2004

North Vancouver , BC , Canada at our Wedding June 2004

Poulsbo, WA August 2007

Cesky Kurmlov, Czech Republic July 2004

Santorini Greece July 2004

Seattle, Washington June 2006

The world is beautiful at 4am

2008-06-14T22:34:00.001-07:00

Motherhood continually challenges me, sometimes physically, sometimes mentally almost continually emotionally, but challenges also make me a better mom, and more importantly a better person.

Sleep is a hot button issue, just look at any cover of any parenting magazine and there will be some article telling you how you can get your 4 month old, 12 month old or 2 year old to sleep through the night in 3 easy steps!

The ladies at church, the other moms at the playground and my childless friends all widen their eyes as they find out that Owen STILL hasn't slept through the night more than a handful of times. Soon I too was starting to wonder what I did wrong.

About a year ago we did some sleep training with him , while it helped us get through a patch of time where every 45 minutes Owen would wake , it never felt right. Again after some travel we had to resort to it and then I put my foot down. It just didn't feel right, and I have never let him fuss ( never cry) for more than a few minutes and only when I know he is sleepy and ready for sleep.

You would think that this would be enough for some- but for some reason it's not.

" He should really be sleeping Allie"

" Oh My God I would die, I'm going to formula feed my kids then" said by one childless friend who apparently equates not sleeping with nursing.

For months I was struggling, knowing what my heart, gut and mothering instinct told me was different from our culture and what seemed like everyone I knew.

Then watching the morning slowly get bright , with my son half asleep at my breast, and all I could feel was love. Love for this bond , love for my ability to calm and nourish my child and love for this extra time to mother him.

Argh I need to update this more!

2008-06-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

"I'll do it MYSELF! "

So lately Owen has been really starting to exert his independence and personality, it's interesting to say the least. He is super interested in letters and knows A, B, D, E, H, L, O, P, R, S, M, N, and W ! I did not sit him down and teach him, just started pointing at thing while reading and when we were at the store etc... obvisously he was listening.

Speaking of listening, he loves Jazz as in Miles Davis not as in hands ! Here he is dancing to the trumpet!

Other big news in our house is that he seems to have finally attached himself to something other than me, this is his Orca.

He loves fish and whales, oh and Mannas <------- Owen speak for Lobsters which we visit every few days at the grocery store. The shot on the right is of Owen looking at a Beluga whale at the Vancouver Aquarium.Oh and yes that is a cloth diaper, we made the switch back, now that he is mobile it was time to give it another shot, so far so good he loves them.

He has also developed an interest in exercise, well my hand weights, he loves to imitate me working out.

Why is 6 so much earlier than 7?

2008-05-02T09:12:00.000-07:00

Owen has been sleeping better at night- I have been getting a few nights a week where he will sleep through, and then he gets up once a night the others. I am over joyed that he is sleeping well , but with this comes something dreadful- the 6am wake up.

These means that Owen and I are alone together for almost 13 hours a day.

I love my son but 12 hours with a lengthy afternoon nap is so dooable - but 13 and I resort to PBS Sprout for some down time :) sadly all my child will watch is Barney. I never thought I would be letting my 17 month old watch tv.

13 hours is a LONG time !

We are busy but you can't do much at 6am! Even the park doesn't open til 8!

Anyway we have to run to music class, and Barney is almost over !

"You were a super stay at home mom today!"

2008-04-30T16:15:00.000-07:00

This from my husband over dinner, which was really good ( salad with chicken , pecans and feta!) but of course I took it as a insult that other days I don't get as much done. I need to stop from turning compliments into insults and just say " Thanks!".

I did have a great day yesterday though , I don't know but if you are a stay at home mom sometimes days blur , and motivation is hidden out in the garage. There aren't a lot of deadlines so if you want to be motivated you need to bust your own ass!

We went to the park, to open gym time, where Owen was braver than ever before, until he smacked his head falling from a mat. Then after lunch we joined our good friends from across the street for a walk. Owen has quite the crush on the 9 year old , luckily she is awesome with him! Then while Mr. man slept I got busy cleaning, and even had time to watch Atonement.

Oh yeah that is a beautiful movie- but depressing is perhaps not a strong enough word for the feeling it left me with.

Today - I have done nothing productive.

Luckily I don't have deadlines :)

How to get a baby to sleep in a hotel and other fun travel tips

2008-04-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

I thought this was a funny tidbit from our recent trip to Texas. Jason's family lives in Dallas and we went down there a few weeks back, and took a mini vacation to San Antonio. Traveling with a baby is where you really realize that your life will not return to what you think of as normal for a long long time.

I know plenty of people who take grandparents or nannies along on vacations to get some rest but I am far too much of a control freak and Jason is far too cheap!

So here are a few fun tips.

Do NOT leave your child's favorite cd sitting in the car at Sea-Tac airport when you are going on a roadtrip any longer than 5 minutes. An hour into our drive to San Antonio we discovered Owen did NOT understand our plan for him to sleep and mommy and daddy to have some adult chatter. Nope he decided to yell and fuss from Dallas to Waco. Luckily mommy listens to the cd sooo much that she knows all the music off by heart. Jason and I sat slapping out knees and singing about anything to the tunes of all the songs- Owen was thrilled. Still awake but happy.

Night time can be rough when you are all sharing a hotel room, when we wanted to put Owen down I had to take him to the bathroom and brush out teeth, play with the shiny garbage can... basically make him forget daddy was in the other room ( daddy = playtime). Jason in the mean time would turn the lights off, pop the tv on closed caption and HIDE. Yes he would hide. Our room had a big raised King sized bed and he would scoot next to it while I brought Owen back out to nurse and wind down. The first night I almost peed myself ( which really isn't that hard since having a baby - feh! ) because his big old size 12 feet were sticking out like the wicked witch's !

The Rainforest Cafe seem like it's family friendly but it scared the crap out of my son. So the animals and foliage are fun to look at , and Owen loved the tropical fish but every 11 minutes these huge elephants come to life and trumpet. So every 11 minutes Owen burst into tears and started saying " Bye Bye " furiously.

My last tip is go somewhere where the local specialty is your child's favorite food! Makes choosing a restaurant easy cause they all have it. For Us that is guacamole so I think our next vacation may be to Mexico...

Santa is a scary bad man

2007-12-06T22:18:00.000-08:00

Well according to my son he is anyway. When Owen first saw Santa this was the reaction - which we thought was funny, so funny in fact we made wallet photos of this and popped them in our Christmas cards. The second time he saw Santa he was in the Ergo , snuggled right up next to me and as soon as we got within 5 feet the chin started quivering and the tears were rolling.

I tried to convince him, explaining gifts and candy canes but it was all to no avail- I had to walk on the opposite side of the street from Santa to keep my son from freaking out.

When I got home I started thinking maybe screaming babies are clued into something we aren't. Then I put Santa through face recognition software- no wonder Owen is afraid, Saddam, Hilary and Theodore Sturgeon- who the fuck is he?

I think babies are on to something.

Confessions of my library card

2007-11-27T21:29:00.000-08:00

I am a fake. I don't deserve the silver and purple card in my wallet that allows me to borrow books worthy of prizes and critical acclaim . My name is Allison and I am a library poser.

I take out books that in BO ( Before Owen) I would have read in 2- 3 days tops , books by good authors like Jose Saramago, JM Coetzee, Margaret Atwood and they all go back to the nice librarian who smiles Owen unread.

I am ashamed to say that last month after a nod and smile to the librarian, and a " It was great! " about a non fiction book about women in Iran, which as you may have guessed went unread as well, I decided to get more honest.

I grabbed a Maeve Binchy book.

I am not ready to admit that all I have time for is small articles in Parenting magazines that are really just big formula ads.

The email from the library came today - my book was overdue, and again unread.

Seriously, Maeve fucking Binchy and I still can't read it?

I used to joke that my brain was sucked out with my placenta but I am starting to think it might be true.

The worst part is that while I sit here in my family room, watching mindless tv about getting tattoos all my favourite books sit opposite me , staring down at me from my bookshelf, reminding me that all I am capable of right now is an article about Potty Training.

Just two of the authors I miss.

He's one- I now have no excuse for looking like shit.

2007-11-25T15:13:00.000-08:00

' Oh she is a new mom..." they explain as they look at my not quite ironed shirt, messy pony tail and slight muffin top...

Oh those days are gone!

Owen is 1. The big party is over, grandparents are on their way back to Texas and Canada and my house is still a disaster, but it will have to wait. I want some time with my little guy, cause he is growing up too fast. How has it been a year?? He is learning new things so quickly and has mastered the signs for milk, more , eat and water- and he very subtly grabs and my shirt and head butts me when he wants to nurse. It's cute and funny at home, when he is trying to leap out of the cart at Target it's a little more dangerous.

So with the big milestone come the questions about when when we are going to add to our family... and the not so subtle requests for a grand daughter from my mother in law.

I feel like I just brought Owen home, even though I have a hard time remembering what exactly I did with all my time before he demanded so much of it. I am so so so not ready for another, and while I would be thrilled to have a girl some day I fear she would be so spoiled by our families I would be forever doing damage control. I am not ready to even think of loving any person as much as my little man, I want more time alone with him.

That and I need to start doing my hair, and getting myself to the gym to get rid of that muffin top! When I am back to fighting weight we'll see- but my guess is I will still want more time with my little man- it goes by too fast to share, at least for now.

He's Canadian after all!

2007-11-05T16:06:00.000-08:00

I worry all the time that Owen will grow up with no sense of being 1/2 Canadian, the subtleties of the differences between the two cultures are just that subtle but I want Owen to grow up knowing them, understanding them and hopefully appreciating them.

Well today we were wasting some time waiting for the chili to cook before we could go for a walk , and I put music on. No word of a lie the kid loves Canadian music! He totally rocked out to Nelly Frutado, BNL, and his favourite and mine ....Spirit of the West ( thank god- proof he IS my child).

Oh and for those of you who know my love of silly Romanian pop songs, that love seems to also run in the family.

So maybe he will grow up not knowing what a double double is,reading the hockey sweater or ending the alphabet with Zed...but at least I have some proof he has a Canadian soul.

I should change the title of this blog to " Thank god for drive through espresso stands".

2007-10-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

Seriously Thank GOD!

Traveling with a baby sucks. If you go by air as you go through security regardless of your childs demeanor people are sizing you up trying to guess where you would be going... "hmm she is wearing flip flops, maybe she is heading to Florida, oh but she had fleece on... perhaps Seattle..." Really all they care about is if you are on their flight and how many rows of seats will seperate them from your screaming brat.

When I have flown with Owen he has been a great traveler, mostly because he slept 90% of the time. Oh and NO I did NOT give him something to knock him out. While I do not think it's a horrid thing to do- it just doesn't sit right with me, especially in light of the recent recalls on baby cold meds.

What works for us is nursing- I get on the plane , non challantly say to my neighbour that " Oh I'll nurse him and then he will fall right asleep." It warns the person in case they are weird about breastfeeding, but I am not asking their permission.

I have been super lucky- I have had wonderful people next to me, one guy rubbed Owen's feet while he nursed and handed me things from my diaper bag so I didn't have to disrupt my sleeping baby. On another flight 2 middle aged women all but grabbed him from me - and I had time to actually read a full article of a magazine...

Sadly the traveling we have done recently has been in a car. Which for a nursing baby means stopping often, and if you are lucky listening to repetitive children's songs over and over. If you aren't lucky you listen to screaming.

Then when you get where you are going , I hopr you don't expect a vacation or sleep. My son is s crappy sleeper at best, but in a pack n play in the same room as me and you go from crappy to simply horrible.

I figure I'll spend a month in Paris when he is 16.

Ever just get so frustrated you crave Diet Coke and Skittles?

2007-10-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

I know seems stupid to drink Diet Coke just to wash down a package of Skittles but if you are going to ingest the 400 chemicals and altered forms of sugar in the candy I figure why not chase it with the sugar free equivalents? Do two wrongs make a right?

Okay this post isn't supposed to be about sugar or the evils of diet coke ( oh how I love that evil stuff)- what it's really about is rear facing car seats.

Keep your Toddlers rear facing- I have heard it for at least a year now and am still wondering why I know this but so many doctors don't.

If you are wondering why, the gist of it is they are safer rear facing, and of course we all want our babies to be as safe as possible. If you want specifics this article explains it in more detail.

Back to my rant- why the heck aren't all pediatricians advising their patients parents to keep them rear facing? Today I was talking to another mom and she was saying how she can't wait to turn her baby around- and the baby's birthday is right around the corner. I very nicely mentioned that my friend who is a police officer and car seat safety tech- advises against it until they max out the rear facing weight limit of the car seat. I mean it's not like I am judging her for feeding her child non organic food ( gasp) - I was sharing information about her child's safety from a real expert.

It fell on deaf ears.

Wanna know why?

" My pediatrician said..."

Why do people worship their damn doctors so much?

If any doctor is worth being worshiped - ours is. Seriously we have a great, down to earth , caring and knowledgable pediatrition. He takes time to listen to our concerns, and reasure us. When Owen was first born he lost the full 10% of his body weight and then was slow to gain for the first little while. So many of my friends doctors would have suggested formula in supplement to breast feeding , possibly risking the breastfeeding relationship. Did my doctor- NOPE he asked me if I wanted to see the Lactation consultant and reminded me that someone has to be the skinny kid- so don't worry.

To a mother worried about her newborn a simple thing like that is powerful. So as you see I am not a tin foil hatter who thinks all doctors are evil and there just to make money.

What I do think though is that doctors are humans who may not read everythng they are supposed to, or notice such a small amendment of car seat policy.

But they need to because some people take what they say as gospel- maybe these parents won't follow the doctors advice but coming from the short Canadian mom who's son is always pointing at the tree outside when he is supposed to be sitting and listening to the story, it means squat.

So this short Canadian mom resisted the urge for Skittles, succumbed to the Diet coke, although I didn't get to enjoy drinking it because my son was fussing in his rear facing car seat- he hates it. I bet he'll love to face forward but he'll have to wait - for that and lots of other fun stuff like Diet Coke.

Who is your village?

2007-10-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see Hillary Clinton I think about one of the first times I heard her speak on TV ages ago - and she was talking about universal health care for kids. Of course I was living at home in Canada and took that for granted at the time. Well one thing she said was the old African proverb " It takes a village to raise a child" - for me it takes a village to raise a mom. Where do you turn to when your kid won't sleep, you need someone to tell you constant nursing is normal in the evenings ( it is :) ) or you just need to have a conversation with someone who can talk !

I worry about moms, especially new ones that don't have support, especially other women going through similar things to support them. For me, 95% of my village is on line at Babytalkbio.com
I know some people are weary of online communities but really this board is amazing. We strive to be drama free and are pretty good at remaining that way. I can't imagine where I would be without all these women, many whom I have met in real life, chatted to on the phone and most importantly turned to when I was at my wits end. So yes my village live in my laptop most of the time but don't knock it til you try it.

Where is your village?

Crafty people amaze me.

2007-10-14T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am sorta crafty but in a preschool art and cardmaking way. I can't do anything else- I think I am allergic to sewing and scrapbooking bores me to tears, oh and I took a knitting class once with my book club and got told to find some other hobby. What the teacher really said was I wasn't ready for perling- I turned the needles into fishing rods for my classroom. Like I said I am fantastic at preschool art though- I can mix a mean tempura and have been known to add sparkles to EVERYTHING! Kids love sparkles, I swear you can make art time last 10 extra minutes if there are sparkles.

Well this site Esty.com amazes me- yes I sell my cards on it but that isn't what I am boasting about here, I want to share some awesome finds from Esty.com - with christmas coming I am spreading the word, this IS the place to shop this year.

Here are a few sellers I think are well worth checking out.

I love to cook- and I already have 3 aprons- which according to my very practicle husband is plenty. That said these aprons kick ass- I love them and will find a way to get one , mark my words. In the meantime- check them out! The photos alone will make you giggle!

The shop is
momo's retro fashions

Oh and I know some of you who read this are expecting and they even have a maternity apron! I so needed thet when I was pregnant with Owen, I burnt my belly twice and even cut it- don't ask I amaze myself sometimes.

Check these cool photo mats out too! I love colour but I am so apprehensive about lots of it in my house, these are perfect for scardy cats like me. They are adorable, coordinate but don't match and are reasonably priced so you can switch them out for the seasons if you want.

There are a ton more colors and styles in the shop , you must check it out
love & squalor designs

As the saying goes, good things come in threes- so here is my last pic of Etsy shops to showcase today-

ali&al

I admit I was first attracted to this shop because of it's name ;) Hey we all love hearing our own names right, okay maybe I am just a meglomaniac. Well the adorable onsies and baby stuff this shop makes it what makes me want to share it with you.

I mean how cute are these? I love putting Owen in original things- and maybe it's still early but I want him to appreciate art and value things that are handmade- which is hard to do in this day and age.

I think Santa will be doing a LOT of shoping on Etsy.com this year!

Mothering Methodology

2007-10-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

So on a message board I call home - there was a post asking to share your mothering methodology and advice for pregnant moms to be. Now keep in mind that I am not a veteran mom, but these are my musings from the trenches I have been in for almost a year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have had lots of jobs in my life- sales, management and the closest to my heart, teaching. Motherhood however isn't a job I have ever had, I am a mother but it's NOT a job. When you are on the edge of becoming a mother if you believe it's a job you are waiting to start, you are going to be exhausted, full of frayed nerves and quickly wondering when overtime gets paid out. So spare yourself, there is no overtime pay. The day you give birth is also the day your child makes you a mother - from then on no one can take that away, you can't be fired , and quitting is not an option so really what kind of job is that?

There are a few crucial things that have shaped me as a mom and I encourage any parent to consider them.

When your nerves are being frayed, perhaps by a baby allergic to sleep, repeat after me " I chose to create you, I chose to create you- it's up to me to fix, console and remain calm."

Seriously sounds hokey but for the 6 months that my son was allergic to sleep this kept me from feeling resentment, insanity and packing my bags . The zoloft helped too, which brings me to my next piece of advice:

Get help when you need it. I am not talking about when the laundry is piled up or your hair is so dirty it looks wet- I mean if you know something is wrong, do not try to be supermom. A super mom asks for help. I knew that my fear of Owen going overboard on the ferry was irrational but the fear plagued me. I knew something was up. 3 weeks later I felt like myself again and as it turned out I needed some zoloft to do that. It is worth it for your child, and by god for your own health to ask.

Laugh even if you are faking it when you can't do anything else. Seriously what else CAN you do?

A whiny baby inside- will often calm down on a walk, and it will calm your nerves too.

Above all else be flexible- give yourself a break, give your baby one and focus on what's important, it's easy to get caught up in material things and we are bombarded with it while pregnant but really does your baby care about which diaper bag you have?

Don't compare yourself to other moms and try not to judge them , it's hard, especially when you are passionate about something but moms need other moms- and the ones that say they don't , need us the most.

Never belittle your child- remember my first piece of advice, you chose them, so even when they are big you have to be the bigger person.

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What is YOUR advice? Leave a comment to share!

No that isn't dirt under my nails, I make cards.

2007-09-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

As soon as Owen falls into a deep slumber- I rush downstairs to the dining room and hope that I get inspired- sometimes I am, sometimes I make the ugliest cards and curse myself for wasting paper and more importantly my precious naptime!

I have started selling my cards on www.notesworthy.etsy.com, the site is a great place for finding anything handmade!

Here are some of my naptime creations!

So far I have had a few orders through Etsy.com and other networking. My hope is I sell enough to buy Jason something for Christmas with money he didn't earn - as you can see I haven't really accepted my non earning status...

If you want to see more check out my store!

If you hate Wal- Mart don't move to a small town with a baby.

2007-09-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

I should have known better. I love my little town, it's a great place for Owen, safe, lots of outdoor activities, parks blah blah blah but what it doesn't have is a good alternative to Wal-mart. Now we don't do our regular shopping there but some things are just DRASTICLY cheaper for the exact same brand.

Case in point this very yummy jar of Pears and raspberries cost us 83 cents at Whole Foods in san Francisco, at Central market here in Poulsbo it costs 94 cents, at the Gates of Hell oops I mean Wal-mart it's 64 cents!

I just can't compete even making my own organic baby food cost more than that!

Big people food though is a very different story- have you ever looked at the labels of foods at Wal-mart? I swear that when food is brought into Wal-mart a shot of high fructose corn syrup is added just to make it unhealthy. I am not exagerating, I was looking at a can of black beans and sure enough high friggin fructose corn syrup! WHY?? I had Owen in the Ergo and I was talking away to him- saying that it's crazy that they would put that in a can of perfectly good beans, and the other shoppers were looking at me like I was crazy. I had to restrain myself from telling thm how the Sunny D in their cart has both High fructose corn syrup AND Canola oil?! Why does a fake orange juice need oil??

ewwww.

Now don't get me wrong I am not anti sugar, there is a place and time for everything. Treats aren't bad- I love sweets and candy is near and dear to my heart . What I am so annoyed with is food that doesn't need these additives that are filled with them. Bread, cereal, dried fruit, yogurt- all of these foods can be great for you but if you start looking at labels so many of them are also just crap ingredients in a healthy box.

Gotta run- the gates of hell are calling, my teething son needs motrin and wouldn't you know Wal-mart has the best price in town.

Confessions of a failed frunchy mommy

2007-08-27T16:07:00.000-07:00

So when I was pregnant with Owen I started making the first parenting decisions - all of course hoping that Owen would fall in line and follow the law of the land. The land in this case was slightly crunchy land where we do some more mainstream things and some more cruncherific things. Owen seems to have found his own path .

Here is a breakdown :

Hope: Cloth diapered until potty training.

Reality: Cloth diapered until 3.5 months when we moved to San Francisco. When we got back we tried the cloth- I was so excited to be back in them , using cloth wipes again. Owen was beside himself. He didn't know what to do with this bulky butt , poor guy has had enough change in the past few weeks. That and as easy as cloth are once you get used to the evils of sposies you are ruined.

Hope: Sleeping would come naturally and we would never have to do CIO.

Here is Owen " Sleeping" before CIO, notice his wide open eyes!

Reality: Sleep did come naturally for him until about 3 months- when he woke up and woke up and woke up. Out of desperation ( I was waking up every 45 minutes with him 3 nights in a row) we decided to do a modified cry it out. It worked and he started sleeping for longer stretches. Still not sleeping through all the time but now that he is in his own room he is sleeping MUCH better.

Here he is sleeping right now- in his own room. Also he put himself on his tummy- and he can roll ;)

Hope: Ice, natural chamomile teething tablets and breastmilk alone will cure his teething pain.

Reality: Motrin and lots of it is the only thing that stops the ear pulling, biting and general piss and vinegarness of him when in teething pain. I should have bought stock in the company! I am very glad we are back in WA though cause in SF 1 oz bottles were $11.43 here in Poulsbo they are less than 8 bucks. Just in time because he is cutting 2 as we speak!

Hope: I would make all my own babyfood.

Reality- this one is almost true, while in SF we had no blender/ food processor since we were in a " furnished" apartment - well it was furnished ok for a single person who eats out 5 nights a week but ... so in SF Owen ate a lot of jarred food. Organic but jarred. Now that we are home the blender has been going non stop. So I am not a complete failure on this one!

Hope: All toys will be wood and educational, the tv will not be watched!

Reality: Well he does have some wood toys and I am asking for more for Christmas, but the majority are plastic, many light up and make sounds too. On the subject of tv, I watch a few hours a day but Owen shows no interest and has watched no more than about 30 minutes in his whole life. THe few minutes here and there has been PBS and sadly he is rather fond of Barney. Urgh.

Here is my boy in a disposible diaper, in front of the tv playing with his plastic toy. So not what I imagined! At least the tv isn't on. One point for mommy!

Hope: Breastfeed until he weans himself, hopefully around 2.

Reality- this one I am glad has gone well- he is a boobie boy and still nurses multiple times a day and shows no signs of weaning, even with added solids. Phew!

Hope: I would carry my baby on me in slings, wraps and carriers not in a stroller all the time.

Reality: I get another A on this one! Owen uses his stroller about once a week, usually on the weekends when we go out as a family. 90% of the time he is carried in his ergo, he likes the cuddle time and so do I!

There were some ways that Owen was very crunchy- if we would let him he would sleep in our bed all the time. We did co sleep for a while but I just couldn't relax, Owen slept well and so did Jason but I was half asleep all night, worried about Owen's safety!

So I am not a complete failure- and obviously I am teasing that only crunchy moms are successful, all happy babies have successful parents, no matter how they choose to diaper, feed or travel with their child!

The one thing a baby does do is make you eat your words and intentions! Never say never!

King of the patio!

2007-08-26T14:03:00.000-07:00

Our last weekend in California was spent packing, but we took a little break and drove out to Tiburon to soak up the sun on a patio with some friends! Owen was of course the center of attention- which was fine as long as the person holding him had boobs.

Owen is going to miss Catherine and Ally , notice how he is happy in pretty girl's arms? His father is very proud!

We got home to the rainy NW and I was so happy to see the green, step foot in my spacious house and cook on my gas range but I was really sad that San Francisco is already a memory! Life here is so different- it's so quiet, and spacious and calm. I'm going to have to start yoga to deal with that- quiet and calm stresses me out!

Goodbye San Francisco- it's been grand.

2007-08-18T23:01:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning Owen and I will be heading home to Poulsbo- a far cry from the urban experience we have had here in San Francisco. Living in the middle of it all has been fun but frustrating at times and I can finally understand why people with babies often make for the hills and suburbs . The diversity in the city is a wonderful thing to expose children to, we hear different languages, see people of all races and ethnicities and from all walks of life. This is one of my concerns for Owen in our part of Washington State- diversity is lacking, and providing my son with a diverse experience is a definite goal.

In our 6 months here South of Market one thing we have come into contact with daily is homelessness - I couldn't count the number of homeless men and women I see on my daily walks with Owen. It's hard not to wonder why- are they ill, is it a conscious choice? did they drink themselves to this fate, was it one bad luck turn after another? Either way they are some one's son or daughter and to think of my own son in that state puts things in perspective for me.

After a few weeks I started to know who worked which corner, and who was friendly to talk to and who was jittery and seemed unpredictable. Oh and who was clearly smoking pot- cause I didn't need to walk Owen past them if I could avoid it!

So here are the men and women of the streets of San Francisco that I will be leaving behind.

" Miniature Chair making guy" I would guess he was in his mid forties although I would suspect the street may age you faster than other living arrangements. He usually sits on Howard Street in the shade with his possessions, a blanket and some tools. Next to him are small miniature chairs that he has crafted out of cans and other materials. I wish I had asked him about them - but when I have Owen in the ergo I am inclined to only observe.

" Chairs on a trolley guy" The first time I saw him I thought he was part of the Yerba Buena Gardens Maintenance crew, he was on 3rd Street between Howard and Mission with a trolley full of all kinds of chairs. Then later that same day I saw him by Union Square- and I realized the chairs were his. He seems to be a nomad who wonders, I have seen him as far south as AT&T park and as far North as Union Square.

" Spare some Change? Have a nice Day" This is the only woman on my list of regulars, I have NO clue how old she is , she is obviously ravished by drug addiction. Her teeth are missing and cheeks sunken in, I admit I have a hard time looking at her. I have managed a smile but I didn't really look at her. She sits outside of the 7-11 and Del Taco on Market Street like a little bird wrapped in her blanket nest.

" Cat man" I get the impression that Cat man is homeless by choice- maybe i am wrong but he seems chipper, and content with his two orange cats whenever I see him. He is often under the scaffolding in front of Rite Aid on Market street and I have seen tourists taking pictures with him and his two well cared for kitties.

" Walgreen's Starbucks cup guy" Unlike many of the people I am describing here I have talked to him. Babies bring people together- and unlike me, Owen isn't scared to make eye contact with anyone. He mentioned that Owen was cute and so happy to be right where we all want to be , with the person who loves us the most. Owen giggled and chattered to him and the man told Owen he was lucky to have me, cause he can tell I am one of the good ones. When I realized that I had walked past this man almost daily for 6 months and never said a word to him I didn't feel like one of the good ones.

" Frying Pan man" This guy sits along 3rd Street just past the Westin before Market. He shuns convention and instead of a cup for coins he uses a frying pan. I never once gave him money but he always said hi to Owen and I always made Owen wave back- it made me think that maybe he has started only saying hi to babies because unlike the rest of us rushing past shaking our heads and saying " Sorry no change" babies just look at the man with the frying pan the same way he looks at the woman in the business suit- they are just people.

Babies can teach you if you just shut up and watch.

Also if you are interested in helping the homeless here are a few charities you may want to consider.

http://www.stanthonysf.org/home.html

http://www.endhomelessness.org/

http://www.eisenhowerfoundation.org/grassroots/delancey/

NO he is NOT sleeping through the night yet - back off! He has hit these more intersting milestones though!

2007-08-16T13:30:00.001-07:00

As soon as you have a baby people start asking you " Is he a good baby?" I always answer yes- what is a bad baby anyway? Stays out past curfew, gets caught smoking in the locker room at Gymboree?

Oh wait according to most people a good baby is one who sleeps- through the night. The pinnacle of good baby behaviour.

I call Bullshit.

My son is a crappy sleeper, so what are you the one getting up with him? Nope , no you are not so keep your archaic busy body opinion to yourself.

Here are the more interesting milestones Owen has hit lately:

Yesterday while giving him a bath he tooted and made bubbles, he played inside his first empty box last night and this morning he blew raspberries on my tummy after nursing!

I'll take raspberries on my tummy over uninterrupted sleep any day- well at least for another few months ;)

Sometimes we all need to stop and check ourselves.

2007-08-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

It is so easy to get so caught up sometimes ! The most recent thing I have had to step back from is planning Owen's first birthday party- I was getting totaly caught up on impressing people and that is not what HIS birthday should be about.

A few nights ago at 12:40am I was up looking at vintage fabric to make a pendant banner and table cloth - ummm seems nuts to you? If not maybe you need to check yourself .

Last night as I was nursing Owen before bed, I was listening to the ocean waves ( no not the real ones- we have a white sound machine) and thinking that I wasn't trying to make this party perfect for him, I was trying to make it perfect for me and that made me sad. I don't want to be the type of parent who doesn't let their preschooler dress themselves because they might not match, or who lives through their child's successes and failures, or worse never let's them fail!

It's hard to keep things in perspective sometimes especially being a stay at home parent, my life right now DOES revolve around my son, but my identity doesn't have to. Most importantly though it is not fair for him to suffer through years of me trying to make everything perfect so I get validation- fuck it.

So I am going to get some generic birthday plates, napkins and maybe a banner made of paper not vintage fabric, and I will let my son spend time with his grandparents, godparents , aunts and friends.

Is college the new preschool??

2007-08-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

While enjoying my much needed coffee this morning and listening to my little man babble a new sound ( bat, bat, bat..) I watched a rather disturbing snipet on Good Morning America- parents demanding colleges to switch their children's roomates after seeing the roomates profile on Facebook.

I admit there are a lot more things I understand since becoming a mom- but there is a point where the cord seriously needs to be cut.

Maybe I am just turning into a curmudgeon but when I was at university I was an adult- sure I was irresponsible at times but I faced my screw ups 90% by myself and that taught me how to be responsible. My dad did dig me out of debt after running up the credit card , but now I am a very frugal, fiscally responsible person- and I am still embarrassed by my irresponsability 10 years later!

It seems like these college students are the new preschoolers! Moms and Dads not wanting to let go- hanging out by the window watching them play withthe blocks. Only difference is now they check up on them with Facebook and MySpace.

A really disturbing trend according to the snipet on GMA is that parents are using this to discriminate against not only slutty, drinkers but also ethnic minorities and roomates who are from lower socio economic classes. Unreal. Keep those 18 year old adults sheltered a little longer, it's great to create a balanced world view. It's so disgusting! University is as much about higher education and learning how to learn and question as it is about learning how to stand on your own two feet, at least it should be. These parents are not letting their sons and daughters do that- part of college is to fight with your roomate, wake up without a parent knocking on your door, going to class hungover and still managing to take the notes you need, and most importantly seeing that your sheltered world is artificial and it's okay to live in the big bad world!

It's like crack for babies!

2007-08-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

Owen and I travelled to Orlando a few weekends ago to meet other moms, babies and some dads too that are all members of http://babytalkbio.com/ a message board I am a moderator on! It was a great weekend - we hung out with so many cool moms from around the country and it was nice to see that friendships made online can really transfer to real life seamlessly.

One day was devoted to Disney and I was so excited to share something that Ilove so much with Owen, even if he wouldn't remember it . He wasn't so sure at first- I mean the mall is exciting to him so Disney World is pretty overwhelming. I made sure our first stop was the babycare center to sit in the air conditioning and have a nurse to hydrate before hitting the rides. Owen's very first ride was the Winnie the Pooh ride- which for us older peeps replaced " Mr. Toads Wild Ride", he was very into the blacklight's effect on my white capris!

Over the next few hours we went on Peter Pan's ride, The Jungle Cruise, Pirates of the Caribean, Snow White's ride and the ever classic Small World!

Of all those rides- Small world is my least favourite of course- I mean the glitter covered decorations look like something I could have made with my class last year ( I taught 2 and 3 year olds ! ) , the song is still stuck in my head weeks later and why do some of the dolls have blue and pink hair?

He loved it. He was enthralled by the glitter, he was so cute looking all around at all the dolls and the song didn't seem to hinder his experience at all :)

So we went on it twice, too bad he fell asleep in line the 2nd time!

Clowns or boobs which are scarier?

2007-08-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

Being a mom who nurses I have a certain intrest in news stories that involve women being harrased while feeding their babies- sadly I just read another one. This one was in McKinney Texas- where my SIL lives of all places, a woman was in a courthouse and even sought permission to nurse her child in an office before doing so - yet was still yelled at , security was called and she left the building . Seriously what the hell is wrong with people- are boobs that scary?

I would bet you 20 bucks you couldn't see ANYTHING anyway- so what is so damn threatening about breastfeeding??!This is why I get my back up when I am on my way down to Dallas to visit my ILs because I wouldn't have asked for permission to go to an office, I would have simply found a quiet bench and fed Owen .

Officially Texas law protects nursing moms- saying they can nurse wherever they are otherwise authorised to be. It's vague but from the reading I have done - somewhat suffient in that the mother's rights are protected. The problem lies in the fact that people don't know nursing mother's rights- don't get me wrong I am not going to walk down the street boobs a flapping while Owen snacks away, but I will feed my child when he is hungry, needs comfort or soothing! Oh and you better believe it won't be in a nasty bathroom- urgh would you want to eat where you poop?

All I need is a circle skirt and a martini waiting for Jason when he gets home from work!

2007-08-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

Is it living in the States? Motherhood? or just old age?

12:13am Thursday, Aug 2

I think I am getting more conservative - and it frightens me how comfortable I am with it. NO I am not ever going to give up being a staunch pro choice advocate, pro gun control, anti death penalty etc.. but my every day life is getting considerably more June Cleaver and I am so cool with it.I love being a stay at home mom- I miss teaching, I miss the creative aspects of helping parents with their kids, helping kids learn, overcoming behaviour issues in the classroom among other things like cupcakes for birthdays and getting a showerr everyday. All that said , and as much as my days blend together and yes some days I get very little adult interaction I like taking care of my family, taking pride in my home and doing traditional things like cooking and yes cleaning.I am admitting I like to clean- this is HUGE for anyone who has known me pre 2003 because until then I had a serious aversion to cleaning. I guess when it's your own house, and when your kid is putting everything in their mouth - the vacuum and method all purpose spray become extentions of your hands.I know some of you who are reading this are probably thinking it's sad I have 2 degrees and I am finding joy in cooking a new pork tenderloin recipe and clipping coupons, but rest assured I am still reading the Economist, debating with my husband and trying my hardest to raise my son as a sensitive, mindful and curious child. What next?

I draw the line at a mini van!

I had butterflies and everything!

2007-08-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Our first date :)

9:31am Thursday, Jul 19

So almost 8 months after our son was born my husband and I went on our first date- and yes it was a lunch. Owen's sleep sucks ( although we are working on it now...) and so I couldn't leave him at night since he was waking every HOUR. That aside OMG it was awesome to go out with Jason and put on my skinny jeans with heels! Oh oh and eye liner!! I looked hot- and not " Well she looks ok for just having a baby" I looked before baby hot- with a little help from my spanx LOL!We went out for Thai and I got to eat without hearing a whining 8 month old and gobbling down my own dinner to calm him , feed him or nurse him. I thought I would be worried but Owen was with my sister so I knew he was in safe and loving hands, not to mention he adores my sister so he was happy too.This may seem mundane to those of you who a lunch date i a daily thing but for me it was a huge step!

My initiation into mommyhood

2007-08-14T21:21:00.000-07:00

Owen's Birth Story.

Our first meeting!

6:44 tightening, back- thighs and tummy
6:54 Period like cramps- owww.
6:58 tightening and cramps- not too bad.
7:05 tightenning and cramps- OWWW
7:11 fuck that one hurt. Walked to kitchen still hurting.
7:23 ouch

So that is how my birth story starts- it was early morning Thanksgiving day and I had had my 39 week dr’s appointment the day before- I was 3 cm dialated, 80% effaced and baby was at 0 station- my doctor stripped my membranes again and it didn’t even hurt. After the appointment Jason and I went to a pre Thanksgiving bash and saw a bunch of friends we hadn’t seen in ages. I had a gut feeling our little man would be coming very soon- but had been trying not to get too excited incase he didn’t .Then I woke up at 6, had a shower cause I just didn’t feel well. Got on BTB and while saying good morning to the girls in BW and reading the boards I started this file to track my contractions.

At 7:23 I woke Jason up.The thing is we have to take a ferry to the city- and to the hospital I had my heart set on delivering at. So we had to leave a little earlier than most to make sure our son wouldn’t make the evening news for being born on a ferry delivered my Earl the engine room guy.After waking Jason up I decide to hop back in the shower to see if these are real contactions- they get closer together . Jason gets dressed to go, I get out call my doc. The next ferry leaves at 8:45. The doc calls back and I am relived to find out MY doctor is the on call doc today. I have an amazing amount of trust in him so I feel great to hear him tell me to come on in.When we are driving to the ferry the contractions start getting closer together they are coming about every 3-4 minutes with a break after a few . As we pull up to the ticket booth Jason tells the guy I am in labor and they bump us to the font of the line after we reassure them I am only at the start of labor and Earl the engine guy won’t need to deliver him. We drive to the very front- and before and after loading multiple ferry workers come by to offer good luck and congrats- which was very sweet and took my mind off of worrying we wouldn’t make it to the hospital. Oh if I only knew… see I had made it to 3 cms without a single significant contraction and even my doc thought I would go fast and furious once real ones did start- so while I wasn’t really worried I was REALLY relived when we were the first car off the ferry and into the city.

We got to triage at about 9:30 so I had been having contractions for 3 hours and I was sure I would be at 5cm .The pressure was already really bad and I couldn’t talk through the contractions that were now 2 minutes apart.I get hooked up and the nurse checks my cervix- 3 ½ cm! WTF? I was so friggin upset- the contractions were barely registering either – and I started to doubt my hope of a med free, pitocin free birth. When they told us to go walking I went to the bathroom to pee and had a good cry- I was so scared they would send me home- and with the pain I was in I wasn’t leaving without my son, or drugs.

So we walked- as we were just starting out there was a lady in the hallway on the phone. Because I was having contractions 2 minutes apart and had to stop and lean against the wall each time I heard ever bit of her very very sad phone call.Here it is:Hi jenny? This is Heathers mom, Linda. We are at the hospital- well no actually Madeline was born at 7:30 but she wasn’t alive, there were problems with the cord. Oh I will thank you. She is amazing us all with her strength. Thank you I will tell her.Oh my god. I had to stop myself from wailing- some poor woman was living my nightmare and I felt guilty for being so disappointed I had to walk the halls- when she had just lost her baby. So with that I kept walking and crying- but not in self pity.

After an hour and a half and some contractions that literally put me on my ass- I went back to triage .5-6 cm! WOOHOO!Off I go.We get to our room and get situated- I don’t remember much of this part cause the contractions are coming less than 2 minutes apart and can I just say people who say there is relief between contractions- are either lucky or lying, I had none. It wasn’t as intense but OMG I could still barely talk. I decide I am going to ask for something to take the edge off and tell my husband. He is in support of this and my nurse tells me after she checks my cervix she will go get some phentynal. I am 7cm- but still say yes to the drugs.I loved the drugs, they made me happy- but I still felt the contractions, but finally had some relief between them.An hour passes and the drugs are wearing off- I get in the Jacuzzi. It helps- the drugs are gone but I am dealing. The Jacuzzi stops helping about 15 minutes later.I am in tears again. The contractions are back to back but I am still at 7cm and my water is still intact. The nurse goes over my pain options. Jason and I do different positions, I decide on one more shot of phentynal- then at the very last minute decline and ask for the epi. I was getting so discouraged and sad and decided I wanted to have pain relief to be able to enjoy some of this birth experience.

I still want to try to go natural next time but I wasn’t prepared- I will take more than a one day seminar class, and maybe look into hypno birthing.The epi man came around 4pm and I got some needed relief- although I felt like someone rubbed oragel all over my legs. And it was very very weird not to feel the contractions I had been feeling for almost 12 hours. I rested- dh went to starbucks ( Like all good Seattle dwellers we are addicted) , and at 6 my doc came in to break my water so that my labour wouldn’t stall. Oh and he put in a internal monitor- they were having a hard time measuring my contractions.At 7: 30 I was complete! And I could tell cause the epi was wearing off- wtf I came in wanting no drugs and now I was being offered more epi to top me off and I was considering it.I declined.I liked being able to feel the urge to push .Then something called a variable kept happening- at this point I am starting to be in a lot of pain again and I couldn’t quite follow what was happening. My doc came in to consult. He was not as worried as the nurses- but agreed I needed oxygen. He asked me if I had any questions- and all I wanted to do was ask about the poor woman who had lost her daughter earlier that day and ask him if a “variable” was what happened there.Of course all I asked was if the baby was in distress- “ Oh no no- it’s nothing serious but we want to be sure baby is getting enough O2 .”I hate the mask but it stays on until Owen is born.At 7:45 I start pushing. It feels good to push but my ass is KILLING me. My nurse has one leg, Jason has the other and both are so supportive- I want this baby out.

At 8:30 I am bawling between pushes cause it hurts so much, I decide to use the squat bar. It works great for pushing but I can’t sit between pushing cause my bum hurts so much , I loose it and miss pushing because I am in so much pain- my nurse calls the epi man to see if he can make it here quick. He can – I say yes.I get more epi at 8:35. He gives me a very small dose- it works I still feel everything but for the 30 seconds in between there is a little relief. I am refreshed, and excited to become a mom for the first time in a few hours.I pushed with a mirror so I could see his head and it gave me extra incentive to go for it. Jason was awesome saying things like “ Baby you are the best pusher this hospital has ever seen.” It actually made me laugh a little and when he saw that the head was really right there his excitement was a huge help to me since I was exhausted . Before I knew it it was 5 after 9 and my doctor was saying I would be having the baby in the next few pushes. I was concentrating so hard on pushing him out that when my doctor told me to reach down- I ignored him. Everyone in the room repeated “ Allison reach down!” and although I did it still didn’t register why.Owen Jacob McCalpin was in his parents hands- Jason and I reached down together and laid him on my chest. I was in shock- saying hello and Jason burst into the happiest sobs. I have only seen Jason tear up- never really cry before it was absolutely beautiful to see him fall in love with his son. Owen stayed on my chest the whole time my placenta was being delivered and as I got 2 little stitches for a minor tear. He was alert and wide eyed right away.Owen Jacob was born at 9:08 pm Thanksgiving night weighing in at 7lbs 8.9 oz, 20 inches long with feet so big they barely fit on the ink pad! Seriously they are huge. He looks just like his daddy – long , lanky with not a lot of chub!

So my hope for a non medicated birth flew out the window and far far away- but I am happy with the adventure we did have, exhilarated to have had such an amazing Thanksgiving .Our hospital stay was good- our nurses and doctors and LC were so supportive and encouraging. Owen didn’t latch right away and every time he did he would promptly fall asleep. We kept trying and I tried not to feel guilty that I couldn’t feed him. I was very worried we would be unsuccessful at Breast Feeding and while everyone was being encouraging they were concerned because as they said “ He is a skinny kid- and has very few fat stores- so he really needs to get this before we let you go home.” Things started to look up from my perspective,he was wetting and pooping like a champ, I got him latched without a nurse helping me, and he even nursed for 20 minutes. Unfortunately his weight had dropped almost 10% and I had yet to be consistently successful with feedings.The Ped came in Saturday morning to tell me they were keeping us unless we made some huge turn around. I had been asking to see the LC since the first night and I was on the top of her list now. While waiting for her my doc came in and again reminded me why I love him- he could tell I was discouraged and had really nice, genuine words of encouragement. The LC came in and really helped- she told us to strip Owen down to his diaper to feed, and that until he figured this all out the football and cradle hold are no good- try side lying instead. Worked like a charm.The huge turn around happened and at 3pm they told us our little man was good to go!Since getting home he has turned into quite the nursing machine- and I have to wrestle him out of his dads arms to get any time with him. “ We are having man time Allie- just two more minutes.” How can I say no?

Now , my little man at 8 months !

We aren't in Kansas anymore!

2007-08-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

San Francisco has an extra helping of crazies!

We live downtown- for people who know the city of San Francisco , we live in SoMa. I walk everywhere, to the shopping centre, to whole foods, down to the Embarcadero- all over. Well in the 5 weeks we've been here I have discovered which corners to cross at , which streets to avoid . Let me jst say I am never afraid- but when you have a baby everyone is suspect especially the man with one sock flailing in the puddle you suspect might be of his own making. We don't walk on that corner anymore.One guy cracks me up- I had Owen in his stroller and this homeless guy was next to me with his own stroller - a double made for twins, although his was filled with his worldly possessions. He looked my stroller up and down, noticed they were both made by Peg Perego and said " Peg really knows how to make a good stroller huh?". Never thought I would be talking strollers with a middle aged transient but life is unpredictable.I love the diversity of this city though- China Town is so much fun and really feels like you are in a foreign place. Also unlike Vancouver's China Town you don't have to pass people shooting up heroin to browse the shops! There are a ton of not quite safe toys in China town for super cheap - I think I will stock up and get some for my nephews in Texas, the samurai swords looked cool but now that I am a mom I just can't be that cruel to my Sister in Law.

Sleep- do I have to actually close my eyes to sleep?

2007-08-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

Wondering if I Will ever sleep again.

2:31pm Monday, Apr 9

My son used to be a good sleeper- heck when he came home from the hospital we had to strip him down to his diaper while he nursed so he wouldn't fall asleep. Not so much anymore- since our move down to SF he has decided that sleep is not really his style. He is much more into eating and playing than sleeping. He does like to sleep with me in my bed but if my husband is in the bed it's too crowded and really not safe ( we aren't set up for co sleeping).What can I do? Letting him cry is not only not my style of parenting it's futile right now cause the company has us in a one bedroom apartment- so all that would do is wake everyone up!There are benefits to being awake every 3 hours- I get to catch up on old 80's sitcoms I missed on Nick at Nite, I am always up to date on current events watching World News Now in the middle of the night ( it's halarious- if you are ever up flip to ABC- best news show ever) and I am getting over my fear of the dark.I am also keeping Folgers and Starbucks in business.

This is how he used to sleep...
Ironicly while I write this he is having an awesome nap!

this is how he "sleeps" now - notice the open eyes!

Pourquois Poop?

2007-03-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

Why? why? why? Do I spend so much time worrying about my son's poop? I keep thinking that when he is a teenager he would be horrified by the amount of poop discussions I have with other moms and my husband.

I need a new hobby. Maybe I just need more sleep.

In Seattle yesterday a 4 year old shot his 3 year old brother- WTF? Earlier this week some friends and I were talking about when should parents be liable for their children's crimes- ummm yeah this would be a perfect example. I really doubt a 4 year old figured out the combination to the gun safe, or found the hiding place for the key to the gun cabinet- clearly the gun was NOT responsibly put away, not to mention loaded and ready to go.

I am very anti gun in general but I am sick of parents beign all shocked and looking for sympathy when their stupidity has lead to a tradgedy.

Thank goodness the 3 year old is ok.

Don't eat bean salad for dinner if you want to sleep through the night.

2007-02-28T08:17:00.000-08:00

My son has been toying with the idea of sleeping through the night.

I say toying cause he will do it one night then wake up for the next few, then sleep 8 hours again. It actually makes evenings exciting- hmmm I wonder when or if he will wake me up- personally I prefer him to wake me up at 2:30 cause then old SNL is on E! and I can catch up on episodes I missed last year when I was pregnant and too sleepy to stay up.

Well last night he was up at 1:30, 3:45 and 5:15. His farting woke him up.

As I lay in my bed listening to the cacophony of sounds coming from my 13 pound bundle of joy I racked my brain- why is he Farty Mcfarterson?

Then it hit me.

I had a BIG old bowl of bean salad for dinner. My husband who hates beans wasn't home for dinner so I indulged my unnatural love of the protein packed legumes!

And I paid for it!

Poor little guy was wiggling so bad I had to swaddle him to calm him down- so then when he wiggled he looked like a little maggot - hehehe.

Bad momma.

Guess I won't be having the leftovers for lunch??!

Are baby books pathetic? Or is it me?

2007-02-27T22:47:00.000-08:00

When I was pregnant I searched ebay for a funky baby book- all they had were Classic Pooh , kids are inundated by character merchandise soon enough I refused to start my son off on this tacky foot before birth. After days of looking I found a Metropolitan Museum of Art baby book. I bid on it immediately- and apparently it wasn't as popular as the Classic Pooh books- because no one else even put in a bid.

So when it came in the mail I was excited- I was so pregnant I couldn't bend down easily to get it on my porch but the excitement carried me through and I managed to get the box inside and onto my dining room table. I quickly started filling things out and immediately I felt insufficient. The questions are designed to make you feel like a bad parent I swear- I mean I don't know the answer to half these questions!

For example " How did the daddy feel when you told him you were pregnant?"

Excitedly I called my husband at work to ask him.

" Ummm happy? "

Well no kidding you were happy- but that ain't going to fill 8 blank lines on page 11 !

After sufficiently pissing off my husband badgering him for a more poetic reply than "Ummm Happy?" and having to call my own mom 3 times for family tree info I was exhausted and put the baby book away.

The first day alone with my son after my husband returned to work I dug it out again and started filling things in.

Then burst into tears.

In retrospect it was PPD that made me sob for an hour because I didn't know my son's head circumference but raging hormones aside these books suck. They may record the big milestones but they miss all the everyday things that make babies who they are.

No where in my book is there a place for first time baby poops while changing his diaper, the first panicked call to the doctor or the first time he looks at you and you know he can see you. These are the important things- so do what I am doing and add them in, write them in on the inside of the cover if you have to but don't loose those things, they are real memories not just milestones.

Let's see if I post more than this first time...

2007-02-27T11:18:00.000-08:00

I'm new here. Intorductions are boring so I will jump right in.

It's nap time and instead of running around cleaning and maybe even starting dinner I am here balancing my lap top on my Boppy with my son asleep on my chest.

I could move him to his bassinet but I don't want to, I love these cuddles, I love feeling his breath on my neck and being able to kiss his cradle cap covered head whenever I want.

Here is the thing about motherhood- I think people take it too seriously or not seriously enough, there is no middle ground. Either our children are in french lessons at 2 or they are going to school with an empty belly. I read a really interesting article in the New Yorker last year about how the divide between over and under parenting is getting wider and wider and i can't agree more, but that said I will likley be guilty of being an overparent. I don't want my son to be behind his peers right?

I roll my eyes just thinking about it- I hate that I used to believe that I would stay in the city to support city schools and send my child there- afterall I am a teacher and if he needed help I could provide it. Nope my husband and I

crap he is wiggling hold on...

ok this is going to be one handed ignore the lack of proper punctuation.

Where was I?

Public schools right- well we are still planning on sending my son to public but already we have laid out our plan of how to afford to buy a house in the area with the best schools. We have to make sure that he is in a school that provides all the opportunities for him for college. All in all I don't really feel like I am helping the greater good- there has to be a better way to fund public schools so there isn't this huge disparity between different areas. I know I am not helping anything by feeding into this flawed system either.

urgh.

hold on diaper change.

My son is prooving not to be an environmentalist.

He has a favourite ( yes I spell it with a u- I am canadian even if I live in the states and that's how we do it) trick, after I am done changing his diaper and I put the new one in place he gets very serious and pees again. Now I am thankful that he rarely pees on me or sprays it up onto his own little face but I feel guilty throwing another diaper in the wash. I can't imagine how $ it would be if we were using disposibles- he'd blow through a package!

Since he is up I have to go overparent him- I mean he is 3 months old- I need to make sure he is getting enough tummy time and read enough books ( today we are reading classic Bernstien Bears) - after all I don't want him to be behind his peers :)